DAY 14-I'm Done.

Finally, I am back to my blog after a 3 day migraine and some other matters that came up. I am back to set a few words down. I have been reading, reading and re-reading everything I can on a raw food diet (raw vegan)  and fruitarianism. I first became intrigued about 2 years ago and dabbled here and there. Every time I ate in line with those philosophies I felt ALIVE, LIGHT, CLEAR and FREE. What's the holdup then? Well, my boyfriend would never go for it so.......blah blah blah.
Well, I am done!
I started off today on the right foot with fruit for breakfast then later on  I figured well it's a cold rainy day and it would be a good day to get rid of that bacon in the fridge. I promised myself I wouldn't buy any more and proceeded to make a big lunch for Ed and me.
We ate bacon, eggs, toast and homefries and I really, really, really wish I hadn't. I will admit it tasted excellent. But that is where the pleasure ended. I now have to digest this sodium laden, greasy, some animal's suffering so I could eat it crap. I am so done.
 I can feel it in my heart of hearts. In my spirit. In my soul. It took me long enough to put my foot down firmly.... but it is now down. I mean it.
 I was just looking at some photographs online of a factory pig farm. The pigs were crammed together. It is just not right. The time has come for me to be the change and put my thinking into actions.  I am sick of being part of the problem. How can I in good conscience continue to subsidize the killing of animals? How can we as humans keep swallowing forkfuls of suffering, agony, pain and abuse? Not to mention pollution beyond pollution?
 I know better damn it!!!!! and today marks the beginning of a new way of life for me. I am going high raw vegan as of this very minute.
I will sign off with this quote I found that really moves me:

“But for the sake of some little mouthful of flesh, we deprive a soul of the sun and the light, and of that proportion of life and time, it had been born into the world to enjoy.”


-Plutarch

DAY 12- Melting Snow

The snow is finally starting to melt and spring is peaking around the corner. A nice slow melt would be ideal as we have so much snow cover still on the ground. I was out in the back yard picking up dog poop today and noticed the snow was still up to my knees in most areas of the yard.
I can't wait for the sidewalks to be clear enough to actually walk on and then I can resume my walking schedule of daily long walks.
Well, today I felt pretty good overall but I must do something about the bluish tint I get at the base of my nails when my hands get cold. I definitely have some sort of circulation problem going on in my hands. My hands get cold easily and take a long time to warm up again. So something is not right. Maybe my blood is thick. Maybe I have damaged the little blood vessels in my hands over the years from the bad habit of sleeping with my hands under my head.
I should have spent more time outside today to get some natural vitamin D from the sun but I didn't. I planned on it but just didn't make it happen. Perhaps in a couple of days when the temps come up again I can take the opportunity to sit outside in just a t-shirt. Exposing my arms and neck and face is better than nothing.
I went shopping today and bought mostly fresh fruits and vegetables to jump start my transition to 80 % raw. I can't wait because I know I will feel so good......so why have  I been putting it off? I think the cold winter has something to do with it. The primitive need to eat warm and hearty foods instead of cold raw plant foods.
This is going to be my year! I just know it. So many dietary and lifestyle changes that I have been putting off or half-heartedly attempting are going to become a way of life. I mean it this time with all my heart and soul. I have to. My body is starting to break in places and I have to repair it or die trying.
On a different note the one item I am getting rid of today is an old Sony radio that I bought at a thrift store last summer. It doesn't receive AM stations only FM so off to charity it goes. Somebody could use it in a garage or cellar.
That's it for today. 

DAY 11-Did Better

Today was an improvement over yesterday in two ways. First off even though I ate leftover Chinese food for breakfast today, I only ate a small amount so my energy stayed up. I  also accomplished some cleaning tasks that I had been putting off and took two good walks with my dogs.
In the photo is another item that I am eliminating from my pile of stuff. That's it for today as I am still feeling a good level of energy so I am gonna use it.

 Brand New Photo Paper for Charity Box

DAY 10- Could do better.

Today is Saturday and even though I have been out of the work week grind for a few years it still feels like a day for fun. Well, I didn't have much fun today but I did manage to do quite a bit of reading and rereading some of my favorite blogs on simplifying and reducing clutter. This is good. It gets me motivated again as I had kind of lost my zeal for minimalism this past year or so. It doesn't help when you have some deaths in the family and then are faced with what to do with all the leftover possessions. In the span of about 3 years  I lost 3 of the closest people to me: my Dad, my Grandma and my Mom. I have had to come face to face with all that's left of their lives when they left this world. It all comes down to stuff. Sorting through the stuff left behind can be very difficult emotionally but also quite the learning experience. You learn so much about the deceased and one can't help but think of their own demise and what stuff they will leave behind. If you start planning for your stuff after your death could that be bad luck? I don't know but I am somewhat superstitious so the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. I often thought I should pre-order my headstone so it will be exactly as I want it to be and not someone else's best guess. Hmmm. I will think more on that at a later time like say in another few decades or so.
So continuing on with the mission to lighten my load I was able to discard two cracked cups (not fit for charity) and one pair of old binoculars that are still usable so they will go to charity. I have two pairs of binoculars that are quite similar so I am keeping the best pair and parting with the pair in the photo. I feel a pair of binoculars is a good thing to keep as I enjoy trying to identify different birds that stop by my yard from time to time.

Binoculars for charity box.

As for my quest for better health, I could have done better today. All I had from my "Do EAT" list is one tangerine. I had plenty from the "DON'T EAT" list. Such as Lay's Lightly Salted potato chips (an ample amount), an Angus burger from MacDonalds, a Macdonald's french fry, a medium regular Coke, about 10 pretzel rods, 2 or 3 vodka cocktails (made with regular  Pepsi) oh and let's not forget about 8 oz. of iced coffee. I could do better. I will do better. I must do better. For exercise, all I did was take 2 short walks with my dogs. I could do better.

DAY 9 and some new ideas...

For the ninth entry of my blog I thought I might incorporate another project I have been working on as of late. My other project is gradually reducing the number of possessions I have. Or as my grandmother used to say "It is time to lighten the load." I pared down considerably in 1999, then again in 2009 now I feel I want to get even leaner. I want to give the minimalist lifestyle real effort. I have always been drawn to a style of home that was more Japanese than American. Or perhaps the American version would be Shaker style. I love sparse interiors. I get a real sense of peace from the way sunlight plays on bare floors and empty spaces. So with each entry I will post a photo of one item that I am eliminating from my life for good.  The item will be  sent  off to another place where it will be of more use or just loved more.  I abhor the very notion of "throw it away." I make every effort to pass things on to someone else instead of the landfill. So for today my one item is a little plastic photo album that was my mother's. There were only a half dozen or so photos in it and the photos are now in my "To Be Scanned" pile. My mother passed away a couple of months ago and this little album was in some of her things. I will send the album off to charity as most of my photos are kept in digital form now. That's one item down for today.  I will look around to see what else I can part with as my quest for the lighter load continues. How about you? Is there something in your home that you could start a "Charity Box" with?

DAY 8..well you get the picture...

OK so here is my 8th entry to my new blog. Eventually I will just give the entries numbers and perhaps a title. I like the whole numbered entry idea, kind of keeps things in a chronological order of sorts so that's what I'll do. My boyfriend is sleeping-again. This is what he does on and off all day long. I know he is depressed and lethargic from being totally out of shape. He is also depressed because he has been out of work for about 2 1/2 years. His unemployment ran out a few months ago and he is just scraping by on his savings. In that sense we are both in the same boat. I also am in need of a full time job like yesterday.  He was laid off from his job as a truck driver and was never called back. It's too bad because it was an ideal job for him. He had a local route and was home every night, he told me the correct term is a peddle driver. He has gained a substantial amount of weight and is in no shape to pass a physical for work. I know one thing, seeing him give up on himself is starting to be the straw that is going to break this camel's back. It is bad enough we haven't done anything fun in so many years-I can't remember the last time we enjoyed ourselves together. He never wants to do anything except watch sports and t.v. in general. Frankly, I am fed up and rather sickened at myself for wasting  too many years with someone who is basically nothing more than a couch potato.  Let me say this though he is a nice guy, he likes animals (that's important), he listens when I talk (a rarity in men), he is generous and always pays his fair share towards the  bills, when we had a sex life it was great  and most importantly he really does love me.
Here's what aggravates me: he never does one speck of housework. He has one chore and that is to put the trash out to the curb once a week. He just doesn't do it and I end up doing it. If I remind him he moans and bitches. He has been living with me for more than 10 years and trash night has ALWAYS been Tuesday night. When I remind him that it's trash night he acts like it is news to him and then whines about it. This really gets on my nerves.

This is what gives me stress: He is the most negative, complaining, grouchy person I have ever known. He has always been negative but as the years go by he is getting worse and worse. It is a real downer.

This is what turns me off: He is not as sanitary as I would like. He doesn't shower as much as he should (he takes about one shower a week) and often skips washing his hands after using the bathroom. This makes me sick. I go around with a bottle of bleach water and wipe down things after he handles them when I think he was too lazy to wash his hands. I sound like a detective but it doesn't take much figuring to notice that the  bathroom sink is bone dry after someone just used the toilet. I am sorry but that just doesn't sit well with me.

The more I write out my feelings the more I am realizing I live with a lazy pig who doesn't care one iota that I do 99 % of the  work that needs to be done around here.
He just asked me the infamous question "what are we eating tonite?" that's code words for "I'd like some supper". Off I go to make it.

DAY 7 OF NEW BLOG

Today is the 7th entry of my new blog.  It's about 3:30 pm and I feel like crap so thought I would write about it. I ate nothing all day until about 15 minutes ago. Now, I feel lousy. Once again from eating lousy food. First mistake I made was not eating at all until the afternoon so I probably let my blood sugar get way too low. I felt great even if my blood sugar was dropping I didn't have any symptoms. I wasn't even hungry actually.
About a half hour ago my boyfriend went out and when he came home he brought me in a chicken sandwich (Wendy's) , fries (Macdonald's) and an iced coffee (Dunkin's). I hadn't had any coffee all day so I sucked down a few big swigs of coffee very happy to have it. I then ate the sandwich and fries-Oh! I forgot to mention the Wendy's nuggets I ate too. Before I took my last bite I started feeling my heart start to race a bit and wondered what chemicals might be in the garbage I just shoved into my precious body. What the hell is the matter with me? Why can't I say no to this kind of fake food for good? I don't want to be rude when he brings food home for me and decline it but I really can't do this anymore. Not only does my heart feel racy but I also feel like I can fall asleep right here in this chair. I have had the wind knocked completely out of my sails. My energy level has plummeted, my mood is anxious and my brain feels suddenly foggy and out of it. I feel like going to bed. How's that for "you are what you eat?" Well, I must not put flavor enhanced garbage into my temple again.
Now instead of walking my dogs I want to lay down. My plans for the afternoon have been put on the back burner until I digest this load of chemical laden junk food. That meal stole my life force.
What to do now? Start drinking water and start moving as soon as I can. Then get back on track.